Thursday, January 28, 2010

Capitalism: Ordering Medication off the Menu

 There seems to be a fundamental change in the attitudes of people towards medication. Alot of people I know tend to pop pills, not necessarily the illegal kind, but mostly be over the counterPanadol, Advil, Augmentin (though to be fair, whether its over the counter or not, pharmacists will sell you anything) more often than they theoretically need. 

I'm not sure if it's because of work life balance issues but its slowing becoming a problem; the problem being that work seems to absorb people's live period and if one has a stressful job and barely any time for a life, its easy to see why one is attracted to solutions the size of a pill. We nothing if not efficient.

Now, I'm a fairly proud free market Capitalist, and in line with that over riding moral philosophy (I slept through ethics class) I have a proposal; Let Restaurants and Cafe's Sell pills. Now I'm not saying they should sell Vicoten (yet) or any other illegal harmful substances, but things like mild pain killers, vaccines, diet pills, laxatives, energy pills no problem (even sanitary iPads...sorry couldn't resist). 

After all, everyone gets a head ache once in a while; for some unfortunate people its just more often than others; Put it down to the work place's oppressive demand for greater productivity and our materialistic need, the rate of migraines has increased. In that vein a good capitalist should try to fulfil that niche market and enjoy the benefits (money) whilst taking a swig from the keg of glory. 

Pain killers are a necessary evil for the perpetually stressed and those trying to quit smoking (nicotine patches just aren't very manly, though they will be made available under my proposal). I have no qualms replacing one addiction with another, as humans we're better at substituting problems than eliminating them, call it human nature. Also I'm sure those suffering from actual medical ailments would also appreciate grabbing an Advil or Energy Pill along with their morning Coffee and Danish. 

Dieting is becoming pretty popular, though the problem is that in Pakistan, going out to eat is still the most common thing friends tend to do together. So for those who don't want to lose all of their friends and become an out cast, restaurants can start selling them diet pills off the menu!  

So one can go and gorge themselves with a hearty steak meal and then finish off with some convenient diet pills to justify their packed tummies.  In that same chain of though, laxatives could be sold (discreetly of course....capitalists can be sensitive too!).

People tend to enjoy their food a little bit too much sometimes and have heavy post meal stomachs, which make them very sleepy. Now sleeping after a big meal is very unhealthy, but lo and behold, restaurants can sell energy pills! 

Get a good boost of 5 Hour energy after a meal fit for a king(dom). You may say crazy, but I say Insanely profitable and highly advantageous (particularly for employers). 

Now these places already sell Cigarettes and Shisha/Hookah, which you can order off the menu (despite smoking in public indoor spaces being illegal in Pakistan). You'd be hard pressed to find an eating establishment not complete with an ashtray and smokers menu. 

So selling mildly harmful substances at eateries is not exactly uncommon and I would contend that a greasy Triple Decker burger is more harmful than popping a tiny FDA (Food Distribution Authorities) approved pill. 

This would also save lives for example for people suffering from an Asthmatic in the middle of a meal and need an on the spot inhaler (yes they'll be charged for it later) or Diabetics who badly need a dose of insulin (sell with measurement kit to increase revenue). 

Pills make people happy, whether physically or emotionally, establishments with happy customers tend to make a lot of money (oh and depriving customers is bad) and that's the bottom line....all the way to bank.  

1 comment:

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