A Pet Kraken: Best. Idea. Ever.

I was never allowed to get a pet when I was kid, the last time I recall asking for a pet, I got a younger sister. I did eventually get a turtle but alas, I was allergic. FML Indeed.

I was thinking, what would be my ideal pet and if there were no limitations (like practicality and existence), I'd go with a pet Kraken , even though a pet Raptor  (they have such cute hands...perfect for the Wii Controller), a regal Basilisk  or maybe even a nifty Cyclops  were all close contenders. Now back to my Pet Kraken, I'd call him Krako for short.

"The Giant Kraken is a very rare, very unseen sea-creature ít 8 gigantic tentacles. The only way they have been found is dead, washed up upon the banks of the seas. These massive creatures are one of the most dangerous, largest, and still unknown about creatures within Caelereth. With their strength they can even tear whole ships apart." (Damn Straight).

Many would question my sanity and ask, why a Pet Kraken? Wouldn't a talking Dog suffice, and I say no. Krakens are bloody useful, particularly in Karachi.

Firstly, I live 5-10 minutes from the ocean, so feeding and lodging would hardly be a concern. Screw the fisherman that fish those waters, they'd be Krako's personal dessert. Krako would also have to develop a very strong stomach to deal with the toxic water, but hey, he loves me, so it's all good. What is love compared to a little indigestion. Husbands all over the world have been accepting their wifes cooking no matter how badly it effects their digestion system. Krako would be a peach about it. Now that's Pet Love.

It'll perform some really rad tricks. None of this roll over crap, Krako will be well versed in the art of Juggling (boats), Torture (Taliban) and even water gymnastics (he can do an awesome Swan Impression). He'll even do a mean Al Pacino impression.

It'll totally impress chicks. Like completely. How hot would I become if I could have my pet Kraken snare us a couple of Lobsters and Sea Bass for a romantic dinner on the beach. Or I could play tough man and pretend it fight him....

Safety: I don't foresee any mob/political party/peeved on fund Investor being able to take on little Krako. Unless they really want to be cataloged as 'dinner'.

He'll live For-Ever. How cool would it be to have a pet which you can perpetually hand down to your kids? You know that they'll be taken care off...what more do you want as a responsible caring adult?...other than a vault of Gold of course (dollar depreciation is a bitch).

We'd also do some really fun charity things like protecting aid bearing flotillas. Eat that Israeli government. Just try to interfere and Krako'll eat you....even if it gives him indigestions, have I mentioned how damn loyal he'll be?

I would also be able to scream 'Release the Kraken' without sounding like an idiot. And how big a hero would I be if I savedf cities around the world from destructive Tsunami's and Phet like hurricanes. For cheap publicity I'd even down a few Indian Battle Cruisers....just kidding. I'd be a hero....and so would Krako. Babes, Book Deals and Toy Royalties Galore.

What do we seek from pets? Loyalty, fun, companionship, someone whose always glad to see us when we get home. Pets are great and the best pets love unconditionally. Odds are they'll be your longest relationship...well atleast in some countries. Everyone should have their own version of Krako.

What is your Ideal Pet?