Pakistan has more than it's own fair share of corrupt politicians, not only are they corrupt, but they are the lying cheating child sodomizeing scum of the earth. Needless to say, I don't think much of them, and neither do most educated Pakistani's. Unfortunately we're an elitist minority and that means we don't yield the electoral power that most of the poorly educated majority of the sycophantic morons feel.
Recently a politician was forced to resign from his Parliamentary seat, because well...he lied about his educational qualifications.......namely that he had any. The esteemed elected representative who was claiming to have earned a Bachelors in Islamiat had no clue over the most basic tenets of Islam or the Quran....which judging by his actions and profession quite frankly doesn't surprise me a whole lot either.
But, what does surprise me is that this esteemed fellow, Dasti, resigned from his MNA seat before the courts kicked him out of office, was then appointed as special advisor to the Prime Minister and then finally got re-elected from that very same seat he was forced to vacate in a by-election.....on the promises of the same Prime Ministers promises for a cool (by cool we mean pricey) Mega project for the area....if Dasti was elected. Abuse of power much?
SHAME SHAME SHAME SHAME!!!! (WTF WTF WTF)
Now, I do a fair bit of whining, and oft feel guilty for not doing something more productive for the betterment of society in general. So, with that in mind, I have developed some innovative measures on how corrupt officials ought to be punished. These, if properly implemented should reduce the incidence of corruption or at the very least make it less obvious. I may never become a politician supremo myself (sniffity sniff my ass), but I'd sure love to provide the framework on how to remind these wonderful public servants that they work for the people, not their Private Wealth Managers ecstasy overdose driven happiness.
Make corruption the only crime in Pakistan that is eligible for castration. ohk, maybe that's a bit harsh (not), we'll just have them publicly raped by some sexually ravenous gay friendly Taliban. The key idea is that to make the punishment for engaging in corrupt activities so harsh that no one would be corrupt for fear of the potential repercussions. oh, and I'm sure we can find a few sadistic gay tourists who would love that shit.
Public Televised Flogging Events complete with pay-per-view public viewings on the web. Now, this would obviously be adult rated (like we care about those pesky ratings anyway), and by publicly broadcasting the impact of abusing ones power and being just plain fraudulent, that everyone will think twice about the next time they both offer or take a bribe. Gotta Love Saudi Arabia, they even have public squares where they behead people, cut off their hands and what not. You can use the Ad and TV revenue to build a few more Parks....and fund a few circuses...I love the circus. So cool to see the seemingly ordinary accomplish the extraordinary....like finding an honest politician for example.
Public Televised Flogging Events complete with pay-per-view public viewings on the web. Now, this would obviously be adult rated (like we care about those pesky ratings anyway), and by publicly broadcasting the impact of abusing ones power and being just plain fraudulent, that everyone will think twice about the next time they both offer or take a bribe. Gotta Love Saudi Arabia, they even have public squares where they behead people, cut off their hands and what not. You can use the Ad and TV revenue to build a few more Parks....and fund a few circuses...I love the circus. So cool to see the seemingly ordinary accomplish the extraordinary....like finding an honest politician for example.
Government Coffers Waste Reduction Plan: When a department makes a budget, a good chunk of change tends to go missing. Fuck that. Make those bastards in charge a wee bit more accountable. Have ALL publicly allocated funds disbursements all posted on a web site. When money is allocated to a project, show a the damn progress chart, if you need help, I'm sure there is some malnourished middle school kid who can do it for you. Now If that money isn't being used for the stated purpose or is willfully being looted, take the bastards out and let the Dobermans skull fuck them before eating them....there is something to be said for German efficiency. After their dead, we'll take the usable organs and sell them, the funds will be used to be put back in the project so that....wait for it....it can actually be completed and serve the purpose it was intended for....yes I realize there might be a shortfall or two, but odds are, the government might actually get shit done. Fingers Crossed.
Pakistan Gladiators: Politicians love to tell us how brave they are and how they need enough security to conquer and occupy Singapore, to maintain their safety.... so I say we should put them to the test. Russell Crowe this Shit. If we find a corrupt Politician, we put him/her in an arena (cricket stadiums will do, we're definitely not getting any International Cricket any time soon) and then watch as they battle an assortment of Donkeys, Lions, Taliban, Elephants and perhaps the odd Kraken if we snare one up. Television ratings would be awesome. Krakens are Cool.
For particularly attractive Corrupt Women, once convicted will be made available for online Prison Gangbangs flicks...they will also be given Desi Lollywood Hooker names like Twinkie and Dolly. The revenues from these will be used for organizations that improve womens rights. Gotta love the irony of it. Fingers crossed there aren't too many of these....it'll be bad for our public image....not.
Finder Fee Rewards: Those catching corrupt officials will be given rewards, like no taxes for life or a bunch of huge bags o wheat. Or in fact, let's go one better and give that person a percentage of that corrupt individuals wealth. Bet you anything that alot of scum sucking corruption infested departments would be cleaned out real quick. After everyone is done selling each other out, the government will have some pretty huge account balances.
Once a Politician is convicted, all of his holdings will be seized. His cars, his land, his factories, even his dog become property of the state for the exclusive use of poverty reduction. You rob the people, and now the poorest of that people get something back. It's only fair dammit!
I hate corrupt people, and at times I wonder is there even anything that we can do about it. We have honest people, and we have corrupt people, but the sphere of Politics is filled with the latter, because no decent human being wants to play in a field infested with a bunch of snap friendly vipers.
Maybe if we set an example and really punish the super corrupt to show how it's not going to fly anymore, as opposed to say, letting them leave the country in the comfort of their foreign bank accounts, people would have a greater incentive to be honest. At the very least we could put the bastards behind bars and have it actually be a prison as opposed to glorified hotel complete with booze and a brothel.
Maybe if we set an example and really punish the super corrupt to show how it's not going to fly anymore, as opposed to say, letting them leave the country in the comfort of their foreign bank accounts, people would have a greater incentive to be honest. At the very least we could put the bastards behind bars and have it actually be a prison as opposed to glorified hotel complete with booze and a brothel.
Then again, maybe if we all act corruptly, then we have a more even playing field... but why should we fail at being decent human beings just because our leaders are? Where is the Honor in That? Then again, maybe we've forgotten what honor means.
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