Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Limited Government = Limited Stupidity = Thumbs Up!

The Government Will Take Care of Everything.....Pinky Swear!

I don't understand the mindset behind Pro-Government interventionists. I really don't, and this is coming with a (rather charming) guy who is fairly okay with targeted socialism (by targeted, I mean give to the poor, I know, I'm a Softy Capitalist). I may be really thick (I contend that I'm not), but for arguments sake, let's say that the government intervening and actively managing society's moral conundrums is a good thing, because they're elected by the people and by having a legal responsibility to the people......But where in their job description have they suddenly inherited the titles of "Lord Protector of Morality" and "Awesome at Everything". Did we really think that we had a bunch of Bill Gates on our hands?

Those wonderful folks, both elected and serving in the Government cesspool of a bureacracy have something resembling a responsibility to the people to serve them to the best of their ability. In a purely Pakistani contest, we're better off letting them run a fruit stand, as opposed to a 170 million person country. Why? Because they don't have the damndest idea of what they are doing? Hell, I wouldn't either? After all, what do I know about running a Steel Mill?

It's disappointing really, I mean, I thought we were entering a wonderful age of specialization...or more plainly put, if Ali become awesome at one thing, Ali can be both really good at it and make better money. It's about being qualified for the jobs that you are supposed to do. 

How does prancing around in your gucci shoes in parliament and spewing the most fashionable version of a conspiracy theory qualify you to set policy, run a country and act as Nanny in Chief to a nappy overloaded nation. Hell, if you want your baby's nappies changed properly, then Do Them Your Damn you really want to deal with leaky human waste...or maybe you should just hire a professional, nappy changing maid. 

Let's say your house has a leak (not the Nappy kind), and you have both your pipes and your wiring are soaked (like so soaked, you'd get a positively Eisenstein-ian hair do if you mucked around). You're initial reaction shouldn't be to ask the most persuasive plumber to fix the electrical wiring, Why? because he's at the house and you never know, he might be a better electrician than what he's theoretically spent his entire life both training and practicing to do.

Why? Well, because he's here and since everyone in the neighborhood association decided that he's the best possible plumber for the job, he is obviously the best electrician available as well. Obviously, that same chap can manage the Pakistani Cricket Establishment.

There are days where I doubt my own Pakistani'ness. You see, I suffer from this horrible affliction that can be charitably categorized as minimal government interventionism, I really like the idea of them not getting up in my business....Why one may (quite rightfully) ask?

No where does it state that it's meant for the poor...we're all needy
Low taxes, I want low taxes so I can choose to spend more of my money in whatever way that I like. If I want to give money to a charitable organization for flood victims, that ought to be my prerogative, the government's desire to implement a flood tax or decides that it should take my tax money and subsidize an Airline (which quite frankly, services a minute slice of the populace) is folly.I don't appreciate them collecting my Zakat money either, particularly when they spend it on an executive class Hajj.

I do sympathize with the government's drawing room politics philosophy because I reluctantly recognize that most Pakistani's do live under the illusion that everything is the governments responsibility (hence fault) and that they should get involved in every aspect of a persons life that they don't agree with (varies from imbecile to imbecile).

That's the Minister's own Daughter, (and even if she wasn't it's not anyones damn business)
I keep hearing about how Pakistan would be better if we banded together as Muslims and implemented a strict shariah code across the country. I tend to wonder whose version of Shariah? Osama Bin Laden or Shahrukh Khan's? Why can't people come to terms with the fact that Muslims are a diverse bunch, full of intricacies and multiple schools of thought? And everyone is utterly convinced that they've cracked the code of what it takes to be a perfectly acceptable Muslim.

Honestly, why can't everyone just follow their own brand of Islam as opposed to feeling that it is their God given right to have the government impose their ideals on anything with a heart beat, for them. Holding the goverment responsible for making everyone to their religious line is kind of like being mad that not everyone loved 'The Hangover' (though for the record, The Hangover, is Awesome). You want to spread your faith? Be an example to others. Don't expect the government to do it for you. It's not, and shouldn't be their job. Did I mention how awesome 'The Hangover" is?  

The Hangover is Officially Awesome
I want my government to focus on the things that are the absolute essentials, like maintaining security (which they suck at), disaster management (which they also suck at), providing basic health and education services (again, which they suck at), and maybe throw in a few worthwhile tax incentive schemes for entrepreneurs and industries (people need jobs...preferably at Google...Facebook is apparently evil).

If the Gov doesn't like Facebook...make a Page about it.
I'm not advocating handouts, even though, lets face it everyone wants a handout from the government because the truth is that secretly none of us respect those irresponsible corrupt pieces of intestinal pipe that run the country. They steal our money and whine that corruption is their right and they most certainly aren't as corrupt as the last guy. No duh we can't trust them, and if they are getting their 'kickbacks', we want ours. It's human nature.

 Now, I'm all for democracy, but the idea is to elect leaders, not Overlords. But, hey, I'm willing to give it a shot. But it's be nice the government was kindly asked to express their angst in as minimal spheres of influence as possible! Maybe our government would be a tad bit more efficient if they stayed out of matters of religion, morality and bailouts.

Helping the little guy up, means someone has to stay behind.
 Why is the government the answer to everything? Their track records reeks of a regurgitation of last years breakfast....which wouldn't be so bad, except that Nihari mixed with Dairy is positively explosive. Sadly, it's just easier to place the responsibility of doing everything at their feet and blame them when things aren't hunky dory, until we can collectively own up, we'll be at that uncomfortable impasse where we blame the government rather than figuring out the solutions of our problems things ourselves.

Patriotic Only in Colors

On a purely practical level. This is what I'd do. Lump off all Public Sector Enterprises, sell off the management rights to the likes of the General Electric, Government of Singapore (It's run like a business) or any other riddiculously massive capitalist company. Reduce the number of ministries, outsource the likes of education, health, development ministries to private contractors who are all audited quarterly. Passing a 'I'm sorry for all the Fuck ups and I won't do it again" Bill would be dandy too.

Any Chance We Can Get All That Money Back?


Zabrinah said...

That hangover poster is priceless!



Alpha Za said...

@ Zabrinah: Haha, thanks. The Hang Over is awesome. :)

Maryam said...

Hahaha! Zakat- we're all needy! I love the Hangover too :)

Alpha Za said...

@ MK; Haha, Thanks. We all need a little Zakat....unfortunately others need it more!

Hangover is AWESOME. Let it be known let it be written.

Unknown said...

I like the title, drama n the pics..

Gorilla Bananas said...

So who's the impressively fleshy young lady cushioning the minister's dopey head? I like the expression on her face. Pakistan needs more like her to counter the negative impression created by all the turbans and hairybeards .

Unknown said...

This was an interesting read :)

Out of curiosity, what is Zakat?

Alpha Za said...

@ Bebo: Thanks yo! Less is More...I need to rant less and be more concise.

@ Gorilla Bananas: Haha, bro, that's his daughter. Sorry man...Epic Fail.

You may be surprised to see how ridiculously attractive Pakistani girls actually are. Who'd have thought huh?

@ Anuradha: Glad you enjoyed it :)

Zakat (as per Investopedia "A term used in Islamic finance to refer to the obligation that an individual has to donate a certain proportion of wealth each year to charitable causes"

You give a tiny portion of any money you've saved up to the poor every year. the Pakistani govt. yanks it from our Bank Accounts.

Dr. Capt. Stownwhal Jaxson said...

Great post man! Almost everything the government tries to regulate over here falls on its face. They just keep making more and more rules and it does no good. That picture of the minister and his daughter, might be the funniest picture I've yet to see on a blog.

I just thought of the motto for the first rabbit army, "they're hopping mad!"

So I meant to ask you, how do you feel about your neighbors (India) and how do you feel about the honor killings in Pakistan?

*Dulce* said...

hehehehhe Your posts make me smile like a lunatic.

Spiky Zora Jones said...

The best thing to do as individual families is to get off the grid and make your own in maybe solar power.

Be imaginative and inventive.

I like your blog...t covered quite a bit and it said so much. Nicely written.

I'm looking forward to read more of you.

later mister. said...

I'm all for targeted socialism too. Perhaps you need to run for office, and change things up around there.

Rià said...

Your posts are so full of practical i wish more ppl thought this way!!

Alpha Za said...

@ Dr. Cpt. Stonwahl!: Thanks buddy, what I don't get is that it's a repeating pattern of failure and's like asking a drunk kid to keep practicing on the trapeze even after he's fallen....pure lunacy.

If it moves, regulate it. If it doesn't, give it a tax incentive so you can regulate it.

Hopping Mad: I Fucking Love it.

I actually have no problems with Indians, neither do most Pakistani's. We do detest their government's policies, thankfully atleast a few people know the difference.

There is no honore in honor killing. It's plain fucked up pride driven Murder. It's a cultural lunacy and one that's being fallaciously propped up in the name of religion.

@ Dulce: Aw, thanks. Glad you enjoyed them. Hope that I can continue to meet those high standards :)

@ Spiky Zora Jones: Thanks for the comment, I think Solar power is a great idea, pity that the damned thing is so expensive. but your right, we all need to be more solution oriented.

Glad you enjoyed the blog, hope that continues (if not, please sent me your address and I'll send my muse (My coffee mug) for a thorough beating.

Later Mademoiselle

@ RawkinRobynGoneBlogWild: Thanks for the comment and support, pity not everyone else subscribes to my minimalistic governance philosophy. Nice to know that I'd have atleast one vote!

Alpha Za said...

@ Ria: Aw, thanks for the comment. Being Practical in a Satire Blog...I must be doing something wrong...but I'm oddly okay with that.

I do wish more people thought my way, I mean, I think it would make people's lives better, more self reliant.

That said, it could also be because that would mean I'd get to be all bad ass and have like a Malcom X style movement (minus the dying bit). aah, to dream.

Unknown said...

"I actually have no problems with Indians"
^That just made me a little happier :D

Asha said...

Bravo! You have earned another reader. ME!!
I wish mankind as a whole would let go of this hypothetical religious rulebook and realize we all worship individually. I do not proclaim to know much about the Islamic faith but I can only assume that it has complex varieties just like the Christian, Jewish, and Mormon faiths.
No matter an individual's belief structure I do not think that ANY government in ANY country has any business being in the religious metaphorical kitchen.

Alpha Za said...

@ Anuradha: Thanks for commenting, glad I made you a little bit happier :)

I'm alot of things, but I ain't no bigot. I blame it on the attractiveness levels of Indian girls, I completely discount my being a good human being.

@ Asha: Thanks for the comment and flattering compliments, glad to have you onboard, I would extol the virtues of this blog (of which are limited) and how much you'll gain from this (if you're planning for a murder and require grounds for insanity), but it wouldn't matter, because as a Supermama, you've got your bases covered.

Religion and faith are pretty different things. The umbrella of a religion hides the intricacies inside, the idea of individual worships offends some, as it makes them doubt they're own beliefs. After all, if it's so obvious to them, why not others. It comes down to vindication and unfortunately they have the unrepentant faith and capacity to commit murder for religion. yeah, you're right about religion...and the government staying out of it.

Dr. Capt. Stownwhal Jaxson said...

Hey Alpha Ze,

Not only is your blog making me laugh its giving me a more worldly view. I had heard many pundits and teachers say that India and Pakistan were two countries that couldn’t hate each other any more if they tried. People told me the next nuclear conflict was going to be India and Pakistan for sure. No, not insane Iran or North Korea, but the much saner India or Pakistan was suddenly going to break down and “nuke em all!”

The state I live in (NJ) has the 2nd strictest gun control measures in the US, yet one of the worst gun crime rates! In fact, in our state’s largest city we just had the WORST summer for murders in 20 years! All that regulation literally did nothing! Zero effect.

“Going green” over here is something they offer a tax incentive for so they can regulate too. So go green save the environment…..but only in the way we tell you to!

Did they actually implement a flood relief tax in Pakistan? I thought it was funny Osama asked for donations. A guy from a billionaire family asking other poorer people to cough up a buck! Ha ha!

Alpha Za said...

Hey Stownwhal,

Laughter and education...what can I say, I'm a modestly packaged genius.

Most teachers based whatever they know off their favourite pundit some bigoted incident that shapes their perception backed by a stereotype. Human nature at it's laziest.

Nuclear Weapons ensures that no nuke powered country will ever have an all out war ever again. Border skirmishes and diplomatic BS aside, you essentially have an impasse which both sides will claim victory.

Regulation is useful if it's actively enforced, but for a state like Jersey, you'd need something resembling a police state, particularly as the criminals can invoke 'Right to bear arms' and the fact that they are better armed than the police.
Having Camden doesn't help your averages out either.

The problem with govt. supported going green projects is that they just aren't feasible, and they won't be in the medium term. unless people at the grass roots level develop an affection for going green, no initiative will work, govt. backed or not. It's better to reward and incentivize green innovations, be it through research grants or investing in govt. infrastructure that reduces the govt. current expenditures.

They haven't implemented a flood tax as yet...unfortunately, for all of my whining it's the flood victims that are getting seriously screwed.

Imran Akhtar said...

Yes absolutely. We are patriotic but only in Colors. Very good article, keep it up.

Alpha Za said...

@ Imran Akhtar: Thank you for commenting, glad you enjoyed the piece. It's a good thing that desi's can pull off the green and white color combinations, sad thing that we can't live up to actual patriotic fervor.

Ghausia said...

How is that girl hot? She's fat, and wearing too much eyeliner which is an epic fail on its own. On another note, I was wondering if The Hangover was worth watching!

Madame DeFarge said...

Love the little guy poster. So sweet. And don't start me on government spending choices. It's all the rage over here.

Sara said...

I'm a huge proponent of "separation of church and state" and I'm a Christian. Do you think God will yell at me when I get to Heaven?


There goes your cushy job as the next Gov't spin doctor. :)

Mademoiselle Deva said...

Political life is hard and most of the time I try to stay away from it but sometimes we can't

Alpha Za said...

@ Madame DeFarge: Thanks for the comment, he is rather adorable. We all have out own vision on how the government ought to spend, it's a fun infinite sort of debate.

@ Sara: I think God may give you a High five, pony and all the booze you can drink...served by Brad Pitt in a thong.....or your bf if that's preferable.

God wants us to choose to love him, not have it state mandated, and I don't care what religion you belong to. Religious freedom is your natural right.

@ Ubermouth: I know, I really fucked my future there. Oh well.

@ Mademoiselle Deva: Politics encompasses everything. Hence the problem, it's everywhere, in our news reports, our tv, our conversations in every facet of our lives. Everything we believe or cherish can be made into a political issue for an emotive response, and we all get sucked into it. We're human.

Nas said...

Excellent post!
Funny, witty and yet so true.

The government of pakistan, *rolls eyes* where to begin. & you're right about the religion thing. Religion is a matter between a man and his Lord, there should be no-one who tells someone he is wrong etc etc. That's goes against the teaching of the Qur'an. & Islam today is so vibrant, with so many different sects each having their own beliefs but ultimately every Muslim shares the same few core beliefs. Like my dad usually says to me, 'If you believe you are right then you should allow others the same right to believe they are also right'.

The story of the government is a sad one, dukh hota hai soch kay.

&& the hangover is EXCELLENT! Such a hillarious film ;D.


thanks for the follow!

Alpha Za said...

@ Nas: Thanks for the comment, glad you enjoyed it!

Well, the handy thing about the gov of Pakistan, is that you can begin virtually anywhere. Like legitimately anywhere. Makes choosing all the more difficult, but entirely error free.

Religion is a matter between man and his Lord, unfortunately there seems to be big business in butting in. Hence the Catholic church's insistence that one can only talk to God through the church etc. But it is the core is what matters. It's about being a good human being and a large part of that is giving people the right to be wrong (as per your belief).

Hangover has been officially affirmed as 'Awesome'. That is all.

Your welcome, keep writing the good stuff that you do.

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The Moon
on a cat


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Vodka and Ground Beef said...

I just read your "About Me" page, and I wanted to reiterate: You're Awesome!!

I enjoy your blog too.

Alpha Za said...

@ Kraxpelax: Um...interesting.

@ Vodka and Ground Beef: haha, thanks, I couldn't agree with you more. Only a sliding scale of awesome, I'm glad that my blog is still in the same hemisphere as yours.

Thanks for taking the time to comment.

Iriz said...

government is really an insane topic for sane people. lolz.

this one conveys a lot, keep posting! :)

Alpha Za said...

@ Iriz: Thanks, the government certainly provides some mentally challenged material. Perfect for me ;)

Divaa Divine said...

Fuck youuuuuu

Riot Kitty said...

A truly interesting post, AZ. I get so frustrated when people lump persons of one religion/country/ethnicity all together - you're right, why can't societies accept that there are diverse bunches?

Ideology is such a stupid thing.

It's funny - there is a so-called "anti-government" movement here in the U.S., but most of the people who attend the rallies are...wait for it...on public assistance!

Alpha Za said...

@ Divaa Divine: A sentiment many have shared and achieved. Your conciseness clearly points to a potentially successful future in politics and the KKK.

@ Riot Kitty: Thanks for the comment, it's sad how we choose to clump without giving due tolerance to others. Ideology is a dangerous thing when it omits our ability to think for ourselves in a rational manner.

haha, I didn't know that the Tea Party was loaded with Welfare residents, so I assume by limited government they all want a pay rise?...for doing nothing ofcourse.

I always thought that it was loaded with 'the world is not perfect' whiners. I half expect Ms. World to go up and give a 'I want world peace' rally cry.

Anonymous said...

My brother your knowledge is zero. Islam is not a diverse bunch. I t is not the schools of different thoughts. Islam has only one book(The Holy Quran) and the only Sunnah(the way of Muhammad S.A.W).

It was strictly advised Muslim by Prophet Muhammad S.A.W to follow these two things after him. There is no diversity in Islam but the followers today had tried to make it diverse.

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A very interesting post to read and very informative.

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