Thursday, February 11, 2010

Why I feel Sorry for Models

I have nothing against models or modeling as a profession, infact I think they provide a terrific public service, but I do have the deepest sympathy for them. 

The prance and pose in commercials, magazines, advertisements and corporate events and help set a brand's image. Wal-Mart gets their message out with Wholesome looking folk shopping at their mega stores (Due to their size, they usually need alot of models). Whilst edgier brands like Victoria Secret need drop dead gorgeous glamour gals.   

However, my sympathy is well directed to the spindly, painfully off balanced bodied Models that need to remain skinny enough to be considered acceptable by fashion gurus and media power brokers alike. 

Now, I'm not going to go into the viability or extreme pressure these girls are going through (I'm sorry, if you're a male model, you're doing it for the girls, and if your gay, your doing for the clothes). Conforming with societies expectations of models is hard enough, to be a successful model, can imagine how much of a bad girl you have to be? No longer can you just be chucked out of a club (do you know how hard it is for a hot girl to get thrown out of a club....hell some club owners would rather keep their puke as an inhouse momento rather than let them leave), but you have to be thrown out with style. 

Think being thrown out because not only did you wreck the entire VIP section (as was expected, though peeing on the walls will leave challenging stains to remove) and snort a line of oreo shaped coke off the bouncers shiny bald head, but because you defecated into the fish tank whilst taking shots with 13 year olds (Teen is the new 21). Even then, they may laugh and decide to let the fish die, throw the 13 year old bar stars out, whilst the bouncer Ebay's his scalp. 

What makes a model a model; being hot and thin. Extra skills are added bonuses, but as long as they are the reincarnation of Helen of Troy and Bambi (with less weight), they are good to go. But they have to slim down to get to where they need to be.
Now let's say, you're a model and are being advised to follow the Kate Moss's 3C's and 1V 'Rock Chic' diet, comprising of cigarrettes, coffee, champagne and vodka (I believe a substitution can be made for cocaine once the cigs stop helping). 

You're basically having an almost zero calorie intake (I think) and are being asked to function like a normal working human being.....One may say Appalling, but I say Bravo. Insanity personafied, but that is what extreme dedication is. Going the extra mile, and in a cutt throat industry like modeling, ofcourse it's going to be a little bit more extreme

I don't know how I could function at my job without my daily regimen of tea, let alone 3 square meals (btw, what food is actually square other than Wendy's burger patties?...which models will never be allowed to eat).   

People complain how models are bitchy and notoriously difficult to work with. Firstly its a numbers game, if they are mean to ten people in a day, and brighten up the lives of 4 million, then I think it's a pretty justifiable cost. Particularly as we don't really care about the ten martyrs. 

When you're eating less than you're actual body requirements, you do become dumber, the brain gets less nutrition and is less likely to function properly (or think at all for that matter). The brain barely has enough energy to remind the heart to keep beating as opposed to figuring out where Haiti is. 

Imagine if you haven't eaten ( years), you're not allowed to eat, because every ounce you put on you'retiny malnourished little frame may as well be a pound of tummy fat. Your career is directly proportionate to the success you have in losing weight and looking hot. As human beings grow older, the harder that gets. So when Kate Moss is prancing around in her 30's looking supremely modelesque, I applaud her. 

So if you see a model, give them a smile and thank them for their contribution to society, and offer them a one that beautiful ought to go hungry. 
They're starving (and hot), be Nice to them. 


Beentherella said...

I just read your column on Dawn. Well written, well put and utterly depressing in the fact that it pretty much re-confirms all my suspicions about men not being dumb but wanting to be treated so.
'The see no, hear no, speak no 'woman'' paradigm is true then, it seems. Most unpleasant.

Alpha Za said...

Hi Maria, thanks for comment, I'm glad you enjoyed the column, it's weekly so I hope you choose to follow as well this blog.

thats just my opinion, alot of guys are clueless I'm sure, everything I say ought to be taken with a large grain of salt. As I've mentioned elsewhere, I have a pretty oddly wired mind. Faulty circuitry what not. If you don't believe me, check out my older posts.

Rehan said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Rehan said...

Murtaza! Sorry to pick on your grammar but surely in a phrase such as "Now lets say, your a model", it should be 'you're a model' as in 'you are a model'?! I don't even care about 'lets' being written without the apostrophe before the s, but the your/you're thing really bothers me, and deflects attention away from what you're actually saying, even though I realise it's 'just' a blog entry.

Alpha Za said...

Rehan, fair enough, my mistake.